Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
