NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dick very happy bro
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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