It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
FUCK WHALES
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
