You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
