the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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