She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
