Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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