i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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