Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
