We named our party play list daddy issues
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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