Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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