I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
