i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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