I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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