Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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