no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
