so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
