There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
