I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I need moral support for this bender
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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