p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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