Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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