Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm at about main and main street
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
