TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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