the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize