what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
