i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
