whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
