I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
