Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry 22baller hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(757): View more from Virginia

he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.

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(917): View more from New York City

its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.

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(313): View more from Michigan

So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.

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(614): View more from Ohio

He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.

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