I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
