I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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