I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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