There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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