I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
