Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
