K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
