At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
