She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
