wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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