I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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