sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
