I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
