that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize