margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
