I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
