This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
