I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
