I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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