yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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