I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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