Don't you send me to vm
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
