Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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