anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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