So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
