Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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