All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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